On April 6, 2011, we were delighted to have Wendy Young, present an engaging and thought-provoking webinar “Time-Out for Exclusionary Tactics in ECE Settings: Leading with Heads and Hearts“. She shared amazing insight about the misuse of exclusionary tactics and tips about how to use proactive practices to replace the need for time-out. The participants asked great questions, but we were not able to get to every question. Wendy has kindly answered those questions in writing, and we’ve posted them here on our blog.Q. How do you reduce disruptive behavior in a positive way?
Answer from Wendy Young: Creating a classroom community is our first line of defense when it comes to reducing disruptive behavior in a positive way. We must build a climate in which every child feels safe and wanted. Building relationships is crucial. We must work hard to develop a relationship with all students. This includes, most especially, students that are difficult or challenging. Finding a way to connect through the child’s interests, dreams and desires goes a long way. That is just the beginning. We also need to allow kids to have ownership of the classroom and to have input about how the classroom might run in order to be a great place for everyone.
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Q. At what point do children learn that their behavior has consequences, and experience the consequences?
Answer from Wendy Young: This is a very intriguing question, and I can answer that based on conventional wisdom, but before I do so, I must diverge. First, we have to think about if we want to come at this in a way in which most of us (including myself) were raised and taught. That is, misbehavior requires a consequence. When somebody does something wrong, they must “pay” for it. We will not let them “get away” with it. We look at kids (and by extension, people in general) as folks who are going to mess up and will need to be punished. Our society is built on this premise, but I am not convinced that it works exceptionally well. Here’s why: As a therapist, I work with kids of all ages, including high school students. It is always interesting to me when somebody says to me, “Oh, that kid. He’s trouble. He’s been getting into trouble since he was in Kindergarten. Trips to the principal’s office, detentions, suspensions, you name it. He’s just going to need to get the book thrown at him.” And to that, I wonder… “Hmmmm….you mean all of those consequences haven’t changed his behavior by now? Here’s a kid who clearly had suffered many consequences (rightly so, based on our current system)…and still hasn’t been fixed.” Our jails are littered with folks who have had consequence after consequence with little sign of improvement. Some would say, “The writing’s been on the wall about him since preschool. We knew he would end up in jail.” Yet, we are quick to believe that when kids turn out well, it is because we “made them pay for their wrong-doings” and “let them suffer consequences”. So for those kids who do “turn out great” when they’ve experienced consequences, I wonder if it was because of the consequences or despite and in spite of the consequences? If consequences worked so well, we wouldn’t have an overburdened prison system. And what of the kid who has been pegged for incarceration before he even leaves early childhood programming? What are we doing to help him? To show him a better way? Social-emotional teaching strategies and guidance may be our only hope. That, combined with building classroom communities where everyone belongs, has a say, feels “part” of, has “buy in” into making it work. By early childhood, some kids have experienced so much trauma and disruption in their lives, that this becomes exceedingly difficult. Notice I did not say “impossible”. These are the cases where we make referrals and work collaboratively with therapist, support staff, etc. Now, to get back to your original question. Generally, at around the age of three, kids begin to have the cognitive ability to understand cause-effect and consequences. (Bearing in mind that some children do develop at different paces, so three is a beginning point, not a number carved in stone.) We have to decide, though, if we should dole out consequences because someone understands consequential thinking, or if we might do better by ourselves and by our children by doling out information, education, better skills, problem-solving tools and the hope for a better tomorrow. Depending upon who you are, that thought may send a chill down your spine. On the flip side, others may be nodding their heads in agreement, having embraced this notion, and having seen the benefits come to fruition. I have seen classrooms where all punitive aspects have been removed and it is nothing short of amazing how incredible those classrooms run. I never forget how it feels to be in those rooms! (I’m sure this raises lots of questions, like…. “Well, what about prisons, then? Should we just do away with those, too?” And to that, I would wonder out loud with you, “What might this world look like if EVERY child were loved and cherished and treasured? What would it look like we took the time early on to provide social-emotional strategies so that EVERY child were given a chance at success? Until that happens, I’m afraid that prisons will not fall by the wayside. However, what happens in an early childhood classroom, and how misbehavior is handled, can have a huge impact on the life trajectory for many, many children.)
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Q. Is a thinking space essentially time out renamed?
Answer from Wendy Young: No. A time-out is imposed by adults. A thinking space becomes a time-out renamed if the adult mandates that the child utilize it. So, whether we call a “cooling off place” “peace island”, “peace planet”, the “relaxation station”, the “chill hill” or the “thinking space” it should be a place that a child chooses to go. This choice might not always happen naturally for a child. They may need support (not pressure or a directive) to utilize the space. They should not be forced to use the space. It can be modeled by the teacher and peers. It should be talked about as a place to relax and feel better…not as a place one has to go. That makes all the difference.
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Q. If students are not fully able to understand the “safe seat” idea, then how will they have the knowledge and skills to know when to go to that place?
Answer from Wendy Young: We help studets understand it! We model it, support it, talk about it in classroom meetings. The teacher may model using it. Other students may model using it during circle time or class-meeting time. We might say, “Earlier, Josiah, I saw you went to the “Relaxation Station” or “Safe Seat”. It looked like you felt mad. Did it help to take a break there?” (Adults should be close by when a child opts to go to the “Break Area”, to see if they need support or guidance.) If a child does not fully understand the “Safe Seat”, there will not be much benefit in forcing him to go there. It is in the context of relationship to the teacher and other students that a child will learn the value of the “Safe Seat”.
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Q. If it is the child’s choice to go to a safe place, what do you do if they don’t make that choice, should we still re-direct the child?
Answer from Wendy Young: Re-directing the child to the safe place then makes it an adult imposed sanction. Using this approach makes the “safe place” not so safe anymore, as it then becomes a consequence. A child who has trouble making that choice may need ongoing support and guidance. We can ask a child if the safe place will help them calm down, or if they would like to try the safe place for a few minutes and see how that works for them. If a child is very upset and does not wish to try the safe space, we can ask them what spot in the classroom might help them best calm down. We can ask, “What do you need from me? How can I help you right now?” Again, a focus on relationship building is a must.
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Q. Is it redirection if it’s not teacher imposed – could you elaborate more on the teacher imposed aspect?
Answer from Wendy Young: Teacher imposed means the teacher is telling the student, “You need to go to the “Safe Place”, “You have to take a break and calm down”, or, “That’s it, you need to take a rest in the “Safe Place”, rather than working with the child and guiding them in a manner such as, “I see by your face that you are very angry. You muscles look all scrunched up. What will help you calm down?” “Would you like to try relaxing in our “Safe Space”? I also love involving other children to assist, when it is appropriate. “Shall we ask a couple of friends what they do when they feel like you are right now?” AMAZING things can happen with this approach. Also, do check out the CSEFEL website. They have some wonderful strategies to help children calm down and think of solutions!
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Q. What strategies can you use with a child that is exhibiting inappropriate and defiant behavior, as a result of being sent to time out so many times?
Answer from Wendy Young: This goes back to the first question. We build that relationship. We massage that heart. We never give up. I cannot emphasize this enough. It will take time. Change will not happen overnight. But when that change takes place, teachers have always told me that the effort was worth it. (Even though it might not have seemed like it at the challenging times.) Also, don’t forget to celebrate the successes you have! That’s important!
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Q. Please provide information on functional behavior assessments. Specifically the process of training head start teachers and teachers assistants-what do you use?
Answer from Wendy Young: I train teachers with material that I have developed myself, that is research-based and demonstrates best practices in early childhood. I have also used pieces from the CSEFEL website. Their materials are excellent. I would recommend that a center not just pick the information up and try to implement without professional guidance and support. In order to be effective and to be utilized appropriately, staff need very solid training and ongoing support and refreshers. Where I consult, we do annual refreshers and “tweak” what the teachers already know. Utilizing this type of approach is a process, not an event. We must continually review and adjust as we become comfortable with using the FBA tools. It isn’t always easy to transition into using FBA, but the results are phenomenal when it is used correctly. I have seen near miracles in behavior occur. FBA+ Relationship Building=Changed Early Childhood Environments. I do provide guidance and support to agencies that are moving towards using Functional Behavior Assessments and Positive Guidance. I can do that either in person, or via webinar/teleconference, etc. I may be contacted at compcounseling at sbcglobal dot net for more information.
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Q. Do you think children can overcome ADD/ADHD?
Answer from Wendy Young: First off, I have to say what I know to be true: ADHD is over-diagnosed (see an article I wrote on this here: http://www.momtourage.com/could-your-zip-code-affect-adhd-diagnosis.) Now to answer your question: If, by overcome you mean, “better manage”, then my answer is yes. Overcome implies a cure…and I cannot say that a “cure” exists. However, I know many, many children (and adults) who have learned how to better manage their ADHD thorough behavior modification, lifestyle change and other accommodations.
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Q. What happens when adults misbehave in the classroom?
Answer from Wendy Young: I LOVE this question! So important. Both personally and professionally I have seen this happen, and it is never a fun thing to observe (nor is it a fun thing for the adults, as you can imagine they have reached critical mass and are not managing their own emotions very well. Yes, some adult need to build better social-emotional skills. I believe as long as there is breath in the body, there is a chance for change. If a staff member is misbehaving in the classroom, they will need guidance and mentoring to pull them towards greater success, as well. When we build “communities” in our schools, we extend respect and support to children and to adults. There is no way around this. We all support each other and pull everyone towards success.) We need to provide support to these adults/staff people just like we need to provide support to students. The support and guidance must come from the top down. If an adult/staff member has the equivalent of a tantrum in the class (which may or may not be an exaggeration), then we need to extend the same courtesy to them that we would to a child in our care. I know there is a HUGE age gap and the adults “should” know better, but this is not always the case. Building a relationship, providing guidance, and education/information is crucial. If we cannot do this at the adult/staff level, then we will be hard pressed to do it with the children in our care. In very challenging situations with staff, you may need to make a referral to your mental health person, to the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) or to therapy. We take a similar approach with the kids whom we cannot reach with support/guidance. If we always have our eyes towards “education”, we need to think about applying that same compassion and education-delivery to adults that we do to children.
“When people know better, they do better.” ~Maya Angelou
We need to apply that idea to children AND to staff.
Happy teaching!
Keep shining bright,
Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD
Connect with Wendy:
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